Psychic Childhood
As a child, I had psychic and spiritual experiences that in my naîvete I thought were normal until I started to verbalize them. The responses I received – usually puzzled looks or ridicule – showed me that perhaps what I saw was uncommon. People didn’t know how to respond to what I later understood were paranormal occurrences and psychic dreaming. It took me many years to mature into the meaning and power of the label “weird.”
Growing up in my large family, I was treated with respect, even though I saw that they didn’t have the psychic abilities that I had. I seemed to be the only one. And though I never went looking for these experiences, they nonetheless continued to happen. At times I kept quiet about them but the urge to speak up usually won out. So I got a reputation for being a bit ‘fey.’
The defining moment of my childhood occurred when I was 12 years old, when my father died suddenly and unexpectedly of a stroke. It was some weeks later that I abruptly recalled that I knew it would happen. Beginning about 4 months before his death, images of my dad in a coffin would suddenly pop into my head. Thinking I was a morbid little kid, I pushed these images away every time. I felt ashamed and never told a soul about them.
These pictures became more and more frequent until, the night before he died, on my way upstairs to bed, I realized I hadn’t kissed my dad goodnight. I said to myself: “Well, I’ll just do that in the morning.” The next thought was: “But what if he’s dead in the morning?” And he was.
Searching For Answers About Life and Death
Looking at my father in his coffin, all I could think was “Where did you go? Where did you go? Where did you go?” I simply had to find out and began to look beyond the teachings of my church.
My teen years were spent being a teenager, of course, but I also started reading books on spiritual or metaphysical matters. Unlike today, these were hard to find. I studied astrology and found I had an innate understanding of and facility for it. In my 20s and 30s, I continued reading all I could get my hands on – Arnold Patent (”You Can Have It All”), Jane Roberts (”Seth Speaks”), A Course In Miracles. And I began to find other people just like me.
Healing The Healer Within
After my mother’s death when I was 36, I began in earnest on my own healing journey. I started with psychotherapy, which helped me to understand myself and my family system. But I was soon drawn to more alternative methods.
Past Life Work
I did past-life work at the Light Institute of Galisteo, NM. This was extremely powerful work. Before leaving home for my first session, I walked into a health club’s steam room for the first time in my life. The sound of the steam turning on sent me running from the room in panic. Several weeks later, in my very first past-life session, I saw the reason why: I had been gassed in a concentration camp during WWII. Doing this work released that fear in me and I finally understood my horror of Nazi movies. What a freeing feeling to be finished with those fears forever.
Another past-life session as an angry artist in Italy released my fear of heights and falling. It was at a time in history when the Church was the State and I had blasphemed: I had made Jesus and Mary sexual in my paintings. By the end of that life, I felt that to be a painter was the worst thing anyone could be. To save my family the public shame of my being burned at the stake, I jumped to my death.
Once on the other side, I ran into Jesus sitting painting at an easel in a beautiful park. I was stunned, as I firmly believed that painting and artists were evil. He looked up at me, smiled lovingly and said: “Don’t you know there’s no way you could hurt me?”
Chris Griscom, the creator of The Light Institute, has written some wonderful books explaining this process. Just go here.
This past-life work healed many of my emotional issues, most of which were hidden deep within me. It is bodywork, as we store these memories in the body itself. It also taught me more about my own power and ability to manifest.
Setting Intentions With Spirit
After my second trip to NM, I was sitting on my back porch on a sweltering summer night-one of those nights when you can never get comfortable no matter what you do. It had been hot, humid and still for days and I wished desperately for a breeze. After about 5 minutes, a huge wind came, so strong and fierce it bent the tree branches 90 degrees. It lasted 1 minute then abruptly stopped. It felt fabulous and I then remembered that I had asked for it!
The ‘80s and ‘90s were the decades of my intensive healing work. In addition to past-life work, I did huna kane, a massage technique that releases many of the inherited ancestral patterns that we carry in the cells of our bodies. I explored shamanic journeying and reiki. I also began getting chiropractic adjustments and massages, which continue to this day.
Self Mastery By Accessing the Guru Within
Then, in the early ‘90s, I began a direct experience with a higher teacher by connecting with Ascended Master Saint Germain (whom I had never heard of!) through a channel. He has been my guide ever since, and, when I get stuck, my drill sergeant.
I was drawn to sudarshan kriya, the healing breath from the Art of Living Foundation. It is a way of breathing that clears old patterns directly from the cells and can leave one at times in peace or a state of bliss. It is profound, profound work. After taking the Part 1 course, I was living the Peace of God for weeks. I couldn’t even drive the speed limit!
At the end of practicing the breath with a group, I frequently would either sleep or go into a deep meditation and be quite open to “seeing things.” One time I saw my father on a space ship. Upon asking Saint Germain about this, I discovered that my dad was now in another life, 40 years after he’d left this one, and he was indeed on a spaceship as a Sirian, healers from the star system Sirius. I connect with him frequently now and there is no longer any feeling of loss or separation. In fact, I call him “Dad and the Sirians, my favorite rock group.”
Friends of mine had become fascinated with many of the spiritual teachings from India and I began to attend programs given by these people, mostly women we called the Divine Ma’s. Ammachi, Karunamayi, Shree Maa. The first homa (fire ceremony) I attended was given by Shree Maa. These homas are wonderful ways to release all those things in us we no longer need to carry. And they’re fun. We stand or sit around a large fire and throw all that emotional stuff we no longer want right into the fire. And the presence of the Divine Ma makes this quite a spiritual and healing experience.
Saint Germain once told me that my life has been about healing. Not disease, but healing. Whenever I have had body issues, stuck energies that just won’t move, I work with an iridologist, take the herbs or vitamins recommended, and shift whatever’s stuck.
Personal Awakening and Ascension
As I have matured, I have learned to trust my psychic impressions and this has led to more and more extraordinary experiences. I recently took a nap in the afternoon and upon awakening, felt the presence of Jesus (JC) sitting to my left, Mary Magdalene to my right, and Saint Germain standing at my bedroom door. JC and MM then began waltzing around my bedroom. In a later reading, I asked Saint Germain about this and he replied: “Oh, they do that all the time.”
When these things start to happen, we are no longer psychic, we are in an awakened state. We no longer link into the psyche, we become it.
Because of all the work that I’ve done, I no longer explain away or apologize for these experiences. I accept and welcome them. And to my delight, they continue to increase.
There are so many resources we have today for discovering who we are. I feel profoundly grateful to all the gurus, healers, Divine Ma’s, psychics and channels I met throughout the years. They all helped me get to a point in my life where I am complete and no longer feel the need to race from one practitioner to another.
Because I made a decision at my mother’s funeral to do the healing work on myself, I have finally reached a place of balance, strength and wholeness. It’s been an intense ride, which I frequently compare to a roller coaster or diving into the deep end of the pool. But well worth it.
Heidi Walter was a free-lance photographer in Chicago, IL USA for more than 20 years, specializing in on-location public relations and portrait photography. Her many subjects included Oprah Winfrey, Susan Sarandon and Prince Charles. Now an author and internet entrepreneur, her specialty is health and wellness as tied to the spiritual.
